Invite young adults to come rest in Christ

HERE'S AN EXERCISE I’ve seen done with young adults. After putting up posters around a room featuring words often connected to those in their 20s and 30s (such as transitional, digital, communal, prophetic and global), participants are asked to move to the poster that best describes life as a young adult at this moment. Once there, they can write one or two additional words or phrases that give more insight into their own experiences.

Each time I’ve seen this done, the same thing happens: young adults gravitate in massive numbers to the poster marked “overwhelmed.” Usually the space is so crowded that it needs additional posters so everyone can jot down their contribution.

Regardless of where this exercise is done, what we see is eerily consistent: young adults are, by and large, feeling burdened, stressed, pressured, and overwhelmed. This is a reality that vocation ministers cannot ignore, and it is one that merits attention for the church’s efforts not only in vocation ministry but also in missionary discipleship.

Some might scoff at the suggestion that young adults feel stressed, thinking that most young people are doing just fine: they are enjoying the good life on credit in a consumer society, and they don’t have a care in the world aside from themselves. But in reality, postmodern young adults are quite a different story. 

For one thing they report significant levels of anxiety. According to a report by the American Psychological Association released in 2018, Millennials reported higher stress than any other generation, citing stress about health, safety, finances, relationships, and politics.

In terms of their financial picture, many Generation Xers and Millennials have racked up an overwhelming amount of debt from college loans and credit cards. Additionally, less work is available today for a 20-something than a few decades ago. According to the Pew Research Center (2015), “more than half (50.9%) of the nation’s nearly 8 million unemployed people are between the ages of 16 and 34 – even though that group makes up just over a third of the civilian labor force.” 

With Baby Boomers retiring later, fewer jobs are now available to recent college graduates, who often have to move back in with their parents, seek temporary jobs, or enroll in graduate study programs, further adding to their educational debt.

Economically, there is instability among young adults, as a growing number of those in their 20s are falling well below the poverty line. A 2016 Pew Research Center study found that 31 percent of households headed by a young adult under the age of 35 were living in poverty. (As a point of comparison, when Baby Boomers were young adults, this figure was only 12 percent). Additionally, the U.S. Census reported that the net worth of young adults decreased 37 percent between 2005 and 2010, while older generations took a 13 percent hit in the same time period. “The wealth gap between younger and older Americans now stands as the widest on record,” said Joel Kotkin, a columnist for Newsweek. “Quick prospects for improvement are dismal for the youngest generation.”

The only way for many working young adults to receive a salary increase is to move from job to job, hoping that the next one will pay more than the last. Young adults will have about seven to eight jobs before the age of 35—some of which will require significant geographical moves from one housing market to another, potentially adding further debt and anxiety to the situation. Young adults are constantly moving—transitioning from job to job, task to task, city to city. If they aren’t learning a new skill or career at this moment, they may be polishing their resume as they plan to exit their current job. The ongoing cycle goes by quickly with short periods between transitions, leaving little time for friends, family, or establishing a community.

One might argue that access to technology could and should make life a little easier, but in reality, it has made things more complicated. All generations, including young adults who have greater connectivity to mobile devices, are finding it increasingly difficult to “unplug” from the technology readily available to them in the workplace. “Welcome to the world of work, where 5:30 p.m. is far from the end of the day,” quip the editors at Knowledge@Wharton, the online business journal for The Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania. “Not only do we have difficulty maintaining personal boundaries with work because our lives and jobs are so enmeshed with technology, but we also feel intense pressure from our organizations to be ‘always on’ and immediately responsive to calls and e-mails outside of normal working hours.” Knowing that employees, especially younger generations, are accessible by e-mail or text at any hour of the day, supervisors are expecting much more from the workforce. There is also a pressure on young adults to go faster because their technology is equally as quick. And even if a supervisor isn’t setting such high standards, young adults will often impose a pressure on themselves to check their e-mails and work from home—just so that they can get ahead of their workload or climb the ladder of success more quickly.

Even young church workers are not exempt from this experience. In a study conducted by the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate at Georgetown University, researchers found that 39 percent of Catholic lay ecclesial ministers under age 30 consider themselves “very much overworked” and have little to no time for family, friends, personal hobbies and interests and even prayer.

Regardless of whether they are young professionals, church workers, or un- and under-employed, today’s young adults are running on fumes with no gas station in sight (added to this, the amount of bills, in particular debt from college and credit cards, that young adults acquire so quickly today is yet another source of frustration). They are simply overwhelmed by life.

Pope Francis acknowledged this reality in Christus Vivit, (Christ Lives) his 2019 apostolic exhortation on young people: “In a rapidly changing world, many [young peoples’] lives are exposed to suffering and manipulation... As a church, may we never fail to weep before these tragedies of our young” (71, 75).  In the seemingly comfortable United States, many young adults are paralyzed or beaten down by the societal pressures of a fast-paced, image-conscious, and success-driven culture like our own.

So what is it that young adults seek? Help, hope, and comfort. Conversely, what is it that they are not seeking? Anyone telling them that they are not trying hard enough, that they’re not good enough, or that their mistakes will condemn them to God knows where. Which of these will they find if they enter our churches?

Drifting away

Many of us have heard the depressing numbers of active young adult churchgoers: only 15 to 17 percent of self-identified Roman Catholic Gen Xers and Millennials attend Mass on a weekly basis, while around one third of all Americans under age 30 have no religious affiliation whatsoever. We see the reality each Sunday, as our pews grow empty and our assemblies become grayer. Consequently, fewer young adults are entering church leadership and answering the vocational call to priesthood, religious life, or lay ecclesial ministry.

The origins of these statistics generally don’t always lie in a rejection of Catholic doctrine or dogma (although, to be fair, there are those who do object to Catholic positions on various teachings). Some of what drives young adults away is a failure of church leaders to tend to the relevant needs.

Young adults report they simply “drifted away” from the practice of the faith, usually because no one seemed to really care (and no one bothered to stop them during their exit from the pews either). Others left because life got busy and overwhelming (as already outlined), and there wasn’t a support system in place at their church to help them. Still others were simply in need of rest, and there was no compelling reason to roll out of bed and connect with a parish community that probably didn’t even know their names.

Whatever the reason, something has “eclipsed” their connection to a faith community, a concept that renowned young adult minister Mike Hayes introduced in his book, Googling God: The Religious Landscape of People in Their 20s and 30s. “There is no time for church or an intentional faith experience,” he contends, “because of the demands of a busy culture and the irrelevance of religious institutions.” Something more pressing than Sunday Mass has captured their attention, eclipsing any connection the church might have in their lives. Life simply got in the way.

When this happens, young adults will find help, hope, and comfort wherever they can find it, and often that does not include religious communities. A 2015 study by the Pew Research Center said that 35 percent of Millennials identify religiously as “none.”

Where is hope, help, comfort?

So where do they find help, hope, and comfort? A few may turn to unhealthy patterns of drugs or other temptations, but the majority becomes spiritually self-reliant. Sociologist Robert Wuthnow calls them “spiritual tinkerers” for their ability to construct a worldview from culture and the arts, their family and friends, life experiences and a sprinkling of elements from religious traditions. Yet in all this, there is no spiritual community they can call “home,” no outside perspective to give them spiritual direction, and no real sense of an intentional vocation. Many will continue to wander through life, wondering what God has planned for them in the chaos of transition and being overwhelmed by work, relationships, and life in general—but without a community with which to make that spiritual journey.

The call of missionary discipleship implores that we respond to this reality. It challenges active Catholics to reconnect those who have fallen from the practice of their faith for whatever reason: anger, frustration, or being eclipsed and overwhelmed by life.

When confronted with the challenge to evangelize, many people are lost and confused as to what they can or should do. How can we preach Christ to someone who knows him, but who simply doesn’t have the time, energy, or concern to do anything about it? How can we re-introduce the faith to those who have not experienced the help, hope, and comfort offered by the church or those who profess its creed?

It seems the surest route to engaging in the work of evangelization is to witness to a faith that says to the overwhelmed, “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and burden light” (Matthew 11:28-30). To be successful missionary disciples we must boldly proclaim the help, hope, and comfort that Christ invites his church to emulate.

What is most needed by young adults today is a faith community that exemplifies Christ as the one who provides rest and compassion for the weary, that takes off their yoke of anxiety and replaces it with one of help, hope, and comfort. If we seek to bring back the 85 percent of young adults not engaged with the faith, we must be more about tending the wounds of an overwhelmed generation rather than proclaiming our own righteousness or trying to fix the people who come seeking Christ.

For young adults whose lives are constantly on-the-go, who barely have enough time to sit and enjoy a coffee or a few extra minutes of sleep in the morning, it can be hard to find a moment to journey deep within the heart and mind—and rediscover God’s call. Without contemplative moments, many young adults will continue to jump from career to career and place to place, not for the money, but because they don’t know where they truly belong. Without being able to plant roots in any one job or career, some aren’t certain if the soil on which they stand is really the place they want or need to be. And without that knowledge, a young adult could stay in a state of transition for the rest of his or her life.

People in their 20s and 30s, and perhaps those of any generation, can become overwhelmed simply because they never had a chance to stop for a moment to look inward. This overwhelming feeling can lead to detachment from happiness, from achieving purpose and from a faith community—especially if religious institutions are not helping them in any way.

TIPS FOR MINISTRY WITH THE OVERWHELMED

Seek. The young adults who most need Christ the Healer in their lives can also be the ones who aren’t coming to church regularly. Part of the church’s work is to seek out and find those men and women. Work with campus and young adult ministers in doing this.

Listen. Too often, when stressed-out people do come to us, we can be tempted to fix them or share all the opportunities the church offers them. Instead, let us take a moment to simply listen to them. Sometimes, a kind ear is all that is needed.

Advocate. Within a parish, community or diocese, advocate for the young adults who don’t have the time or energy to push for their own ministry. Encourage other ministry leaders and church authorities to minister to the stressed and broken young people.

Use your charism.  Reflect on your own community’s charism, and see if there are ways that those gifts can help you and others respond to young adults’ feelings of being overwhelmed and overburdened. 

Support or create. If there are support groups and programs in place at local parishes or across the diocese for young adults, tap into them. However, if nothing exists, consider creating something new to help out the overwhelmed young adults in your area.
 

Vocation ministers: essential evangelists

Those engaged in vocations work, then, have a pivotal role in evangelization. Not only do they offer much-needed spiritual practices and opportunities for overwhelmed young adults; they also help these men and women find rest with a community and lifestyle that allows them to more fully live out their purpose, all for the greater glory of God. And in that community, whether it is a place where young adults simply visit or choose to make their home, they find a safe place for sacred silence, mentorship and pastoral support, and a chance to integrate deeper meaning and spirituality into their everyday lives. 

Vocation leaders should be encouraging young men and women to slow down, take a rest and to listen for God’s voice—exactly what the overstressed and overburdened young adults could really use in their stressed out, chaotic existence. Within that rest and silence, vocation ministers can help people to achieve clarity of purpose, a sense of direction, and a deeper understanding and meaning behind all the craziness of life. These are things religious have been doing for years.

With this in mind, Pope Francis recently wrote, “May all young people who are suffering feel the closeness of a Christian community… by its actions, its embrace, and its concrete help” (Christus Vivit, 77).  He goes on to say that “the community has an important role to play in the accompaniment of young people; it should feel collectively responsible for accepting, motivating, encouraging, and challenging them” (243).  Through this most recent exhortation, the Holy Father has asked pastoral and vocational church leaders to join him in offering paschal hope to the young and to walk alongside them as mentors and fellow travelers in the midst of their struggles along the way.

Religious communities have a long history of answering the cry of the overwhelmed. In early 17th-century Peru, Dominican St. Martin de Porres cared for those overwhelmed by sickness, disease, slavery and the cruel racial prejudices of his day. To those who were marginalized and overrun, de Porres exemplified the image of Christ who said, “come to me, all you who labor and are heavy burdened,” even when it wasn’t readily accepted by the culture or by his religious community.

In the late nineteenth century, Frances Xavier Cabrini, foundress of the Missionary Sisters of the Sacred Heart, came to the U.S. from Europe upon the urging of Pope Leo XIII to minister to Italian immigrants. She founded 67 institutions in her lifetime to assist the immigrant population who were abandoned, uneducated and overwhelmed by prejudice and poverty. Mother Cabrini serves as yet another example for us today in seeking out those who are lost in a sea of confusion and isolation, beckoning them, “come to me, all you who labor and are heavy burdened” and we will give you rest.

In the postmodern world, we still have the poor, the immigrant, the sick, and the dying to tend to—but the church has another group to add to that list: the overwhelmed. In tying together the beatitudes of St. Matthew and St. Luke, we are called to minister not just to the “poor” but also the “poor in spirit.” In today’s context, these are the men and women, many of whom are in their 20s and 30s, who are overwhelmed with anxiety, fear, pressure, depression, and insurmountable stress. St. Martin de Porres and Mother Cabrini are just two examples of religious men and women coming to the aid of the forgotten and lost, bringing them closer to the love of Christ and the church.

This same charge faces us in the 21st century: to be the compassionate face of Christ to those whom others, including other religious leaders, have passed by on the roadside, thinking that overwhelmed young adults (who are also quite secularized and detached from their faith) can take care of themselves.

Ministering to overwhelmed young adults today can be messy. It doesn’t always fit in vocation programs, parish ministerial flowcharts, or diocesan strategic plans, but this kind of outreach is exactly what the church is equipped and charged to do. St. Martin de Porres’ outreach was messy, too, because the people in need of care were messy. Yet, as he once said to a fellow Dominican, “Compassion, my dear brother, is preferable to cleanliness.” Compassion truly is preferable to all else.

Joining hands

We do not walk this road alone. Priests and religious communities can work alongside young adult ministers and evangelists already engaged with this population, as well as the 15 percent of those in their 20s and 30s who are active in the practice of their faith—all in service to the other 85 percent. Vocation leaders can equip active young adults with the tools they will need to offer support and compassion to their overburdened peers.

Religious orders and vocation offices could potentially be the training ground for new evangelists (and this can also be an excellent way to introduce the vocation of church leadership to these young men and women, who may want to move onto other ways of serving the church). Additionally, young adults can help those religious communities to better understand the reality of being a young adult, a helpful thing for congregations seeking to be more inter-generational and attract younger members. The possibilities of this synergy are endless, but such collaboration needs to begin without delay.

Regardless of how this work is done, it is important to remember that this type of evangelization is not about how the church has come to save the souls of the inactive Catholics, but how the church can help lift the burdens which weigh them down. In our zeal for increasing the number of people in the pews and in our vocations, we can easily forget that we are meant to serve and not be served.

Young adults need the help, hope, and comfort of their faith. Many are overrun with the pressures that life has put upon them. They have little time to find a way out, and if they do, they do so without the support of a spiritual community of faith. And they just don’t see how the church can possibly help them out. Yet our God and our Catholic Church can provide these young adults with the rest, refreshment, and compassion they need, if only someone would point the way toward the One who says “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy burdened, and I will give you rest.”

IDEAS FOR REST AND REFRESHMENT

The Stress Free Zone. If your community or parish is located in a convenient place, offer your place as a “stress free zone” at certain times of the day (after work, on weekends, etc.) where young adults can come in for moments of relaxation, prayer or fun. A beautiful garden or a peaceful room could be welcome settings. Nothing needs to be programed, but letting young adults in the area know that your place is an oasis for the overwhelmed can be a wonderful sign to them that you care. While not required, having food available might be a great addition to the “zone.”

Stressed Out Support Group. Bring together young adults weekly or monthly to talk about the notion of “being stressed out.” Each month can revolve around a different type of stress: family, work, relationships, home, health, and so forth. The sessions could include a prayer experience to refresh them, a time for listening, and some insight into how the church or one’s religious community can offer them support.

Everyday Prayer for Everyday People. Host a regular prayer night, but promote it as something for “everyday people” (since some young adults may see prayer programs as an activity for super-religious folks). Offer prayer experiences that don’t involve much detail, allowing young adults the chance to unwind and renew themselves in quiet, simple, and restful moments with God.

Spiritual Direction for the Stressed. Promote spiritual direction opportunities, but advertise them as a way to help those who are overwhelmed or stressed to find some clarity and hope in their chaotic lives. Many young adults don’t know what a “spiritual director” is, so promoting it in this way might bring in some new faces.

Digital Direction. For those too busy for activities and gatherings (hence the reason for their feelings of being overwhelmed), be a spiritual presence online via social media or your website. On Facebook, keep an eye out for young adults who express stress or frustration and, on those occasions, comment or send a private note of encouragement. On your website, consider offering a place where people can click “Help Me!” and interact with a sister, brother, priest, or supportive minister during challenging times.
 

Paul Jarzembowski is the assistant director of Youth and Young Adult Ministries, Lay Ecclesial Ministry for the U.S. Catholic Conference of Bishops.

Related articles

Apostolic exhortation of Pope Francis, Christus Vivit (Christ Lives), April 2019.

Young adult input for the October 2018 synod on “Youth, faith, and vocational discernment.” Visit synod2018.va.